Love yourself

​I’ve been working a lot lately on personal development. I want to improve myself as both a business leader and wife/mother. I have found so many interesting people and books that it would be hard to share them all here, but I hope to bring some of my thoughts to you and share a few great resources over the next while. We’ll see how it goes 🙂

My health issues are still going strong, but we have the chronic migraines under control finally. So while Hashimoto’s and another apparently auto immune issue that has yet to be diagnosed are still wreaking havoc with my body and brain, I’m celebrating that little win. 

It is no secret that the path of my life has not exactly been a straight, smooth, road. Between having a addict father, enduring my parents divorce, a first marriage filled with emotional abuse, and going through the normal issues of life (now with these added health issues) I’ve seen and experienced enough for a full-blow Lifetime mini-series! 

But the one thing I have been fortunate enough to have in my pocket through all of these ups and downs is a lot of faith and a strong sense of self. Through my trials, I have come to see that while there are many things I want my children to learn and take with them when they leave my home, those two things are my greatest hopes for them. 

Faith takes so many different forms which, I think, makes it my favorite. Obviously for many faith refers to a higher being or God having a strong presence over your life. My love and faith in God keeps me grounded in the fact that God has a plan and he loves me. While I may not understand it, I may not like it, or I may not agree with it – it is a plan and he will NOT let anything happen to me that I cannot handle or get through. I have said to myself many times “If God led me to it, He will get me through it.” I believe those words with every fiber of my being. I am grateful to everyone who has led me to see God’s love, words, and people around me that helped form this faith I needed so badly. 

Faith is also a faith in one’s self. I know that God and religion are not for everyone. No judgement here. But, having faith in yourself is a gift that no one can give you or take from you. Too many people quiet their inner voices and their desires. If you stop in a moment of challenge, take a deep breath, and listen to your heart and feelings you will often find exactly what you need to carry on and pull yourself through. You know what is best for you, even if its not easy or what you completely want. Give yourself a chance and you will amaze yourself. 

A strong sense of self is crucial. No matter who you are around, where you are, what they are doing, or what they want you to do – if you have taken the time to get to know yourself, you will never be lost. You can overcome anything. I realized this most when I went through my divorce. I had buried so much of me to try to appease someone else that I couldn’t even remember what I liked to do, let alone go find people to do it with. I start diving into anything that struck my interest. Different sports, books, movies, hobbies, and paying attention to the moments when I actually felt a happy, calm, peace come over me in that turbulent time. So when the world tried to drag me down, I had a defense and a way to pull myself out of any emotions the world tried to throw to me.

However, I know that when I was younger – unbeknownst to me at the time – I did the same thing. I devoured books, music, movies, sports, church activities, and writing. If I found myself surrounded by people trying to pull me down, I retreated to my things and what made me feel better. I did not fall prey to peer pressure or other pitfalls because I knew who I was, what I liked, and didn’t need to fit in with them. I knew where I was going (I collected, read, and memorized college catalogs and books) and that I deserved that. I had my plan and was not going to be swayed from my direction. 

Without faith in yourself and knowing yourself, it is hard to commit to yourself. No change can come without that commitment. Life is hard, things happen – but they do not define you. They are not who you are. Your definition is how you respond. What you do to move past them. You owe it to yourself to stay on the path and keep going; you will receive the ultimate goal of all your dreams if you do. 

Love yourself today. Pamper yourself a smidge. 


Danielle 

I love us all.

​I’m working on my tale and my thoughts to share. They’re coming along…a few more edits make it clearer and I’ll be there. 

However, today I needed to share something else. Something that is bothering me and the rest of the nation as well (I’m sure its bothering the world that we are this stupid as well, I apologize to our international friends). 

I think I’ve been really naive. Which is something I generally pride myself on NOT being. I’m generally very good at spotting bad characters/situations/etc. in the world. But never is one of the things I use to classify people I run into their race. To me, people are nice or they aren’t. They are honest or they aren’t. They are fair or they aren’t. It has nothing to do with skin color, height, weight, or anything stupid physical attribute. And, naively, I thought that since this was 2016 and all that the rest of the nation had caught on as well. 

Apparently I was wrong. 

I’m disgusted to turn the news on. Its heart wrenching. Who gets shot for following police orders?! I would HONESTLY like to hear the reasoning from those officers (and I support the police, I get its stressful but these guns need to be under control). I watched the videos, granted I wasn’t there in the moment, but I don’t see where deadly force was needed. 

Today. I’m disgusted to turn the news on to see people mowing down police officers. And not in the middle of a crime or other confrontation – but as SNIPERS. They made the decision to kill people for no reason other than their profession is “police officer”. These officers didn’t kill anyway (that I know of). They didn’t harbor hate or racism (that I know of). So the cycle of hate and prejudice continues. 

We’re never going to get resolution at this rate. We’re never going to know peace. Our kids and grandkids will never know peace. 

I have no idea what the answer is. I’m not sure there is one single answer – but killing innocent people isn’t it. Killing the people that keep us safe from REAL criminals isn’t it. Hating people isn’t it, violence isn’t it, finger pointing isn’t it. Love, acceptance, and tolerance are it. But I don’t know how to teach grown people these things. 

Kids get it. My kids get it. So why do some of us decide to take that love and acceptance OUT of some kids? We can’t expect things to change if we’re continuing on in the same manner as always, teaching our kids to hate and fear. Teaching them to judge. This problem isn’t going away because we are all allowing it continue. WE are the problem. 

I am thankful that somewhere, someone taught me to love. I’ve got good friends from that and I know its the right way to live. I am doing my best to pass that onto my kids, kids I interact with, my friends, family, neighbors – and I pray that you’ll join me too. Hate is a vicious disease and it spreads fast. But love spreads just as easily and just as fast to cure it. I’m spreading love wherever I go. I hope you’ll join me. 

I am also praying for the victims of racism and police violence. I pray that the those who are targeting stop and start doing the noble job they were called to in the first place. I am praying for the officers who are doing their jobs properly and being put in harms way because of anger and retaliation.

I’m praying for all of us. I’m mourning for all of us. I’m loving all of us. 

My purpose

​I’ve been taking a break from a lot. Business has slowed, blogging has slowed, doctor visits have slowed (although I’m regretting that since I’m not feeling any better) but it wasn’t all for being lazy. I was digging deep and looking hard at what I want to do in life. And I’m still not totally there. Not sure I ever will be. But that’s good, if I reach my end – then what? I like the idea of always improving and working on me. But now I’m off topic.

I’ve realized that I’m here to help people. When hope is lost and the future seems dark – I want to help guide people through. Not because I have some benevolent gene in me that needs to be used (I mean, I do but that’s not the sole purpose) but I have been there. For real. I’m the daughter of an alcoholic, who was mean and left me with scars for life before abandoning my sister and I. I come from a broken home, where the comfortable life we knew the first 10 years of my life was nothing like the poverty level, scraping by life we knew through my teen years – but there was a lot of laughing and love. I got sucked into a marriage that I knew was wrong from day one. I can’t tell you why I did it, I still ask myself why I didn’t speak up. But for years I lost my voice, my fire, my self-worth, and my myself. I didn’t care for how I looked or felt or what I did. I went through the motions of life and did what I saw others doing, hating every minute of it for how it crushed me. Until he too walked away. I briefly thought I’d never get up and had ruined my life, but found through my friends and family and church and lots of soul searching that it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I found the old me – but even better. Because now, she had a REASON to fight for things (an adorable baby she wasn’t going to let down). I had a reason to work harder, to take care of me, to grow my circle of people, and to work with others. It wasn’t me against the world anymore and I slowly, but surely rebuilt. And now, when I look around and see so many people going through similar things I feel that my journey did more than just grow me. It taught me how to help others to grow them.

So I want to water your garden and help you grow. I’ll be sharing my stories here from then (as well as updates on my now – I’m still a work in progress!) but I want to hear yours too. I want to help. I want others to help. I want our garden to be a beautiful symphony of colorful flowers working together to make a beautiful place for us all.

How to Change a Life

Well I’m still going strong with the gluten-free life, hooray for me! But I am introducing different forms of wheat products here and there to see what I can or cannot tolerate (that was part of the plan all along). This part has been really crazy and a true roller coaster ride. I never realized just how much power the food you eat can have on your body beyond your weight.

Last week, we tried pretzels (this is like when my kids were babies – try new foods, watch for a few days) and they have not only been delicious but I’ve felt fine through them. My stomach, digestion, and joint pain were all fine. Which was a relief because I am mildly addicted to pretzels. However, pizza crust still proves to be the devil. We’re putting it on the “no” list. We make our own at home so I know its not full of crazy additives or anything, but crust as we knew it has been awful for me. My stomach feels like its full of glass, I just want to curl into a ball to ride out the pain, and I pay dearly the next day. Not worth it. I may give it a  go again down the road but for now, it’s out.

I am still running into some people who are asking “how can you do that?” or saying “I never could” and to be honest, until this spring, I would have been right there with you. Until you’ve reached where I was in total pain, exhausted, poked by doctors endlessly with no answers – then it can be hard to consider. But, when you have nothing else and a doctor says “Maybe try eliminating gluten?” you try. Because ANYTHING is better than doing nothing. Nothing doesn’t fix your problem. Anything might.

I feel that way about my life too. Some of the greatest moves I’ve made have been when my back is to the corner and I don’t want to move but I know that I have to. When I’m out of obvious choices and someone throws me a Hail Mary option that may or may not work. Like when I was panicking about student loan payments coming due, a seriously underpaid job, long commute, and family to support to a friend. Who said “come sell make up on Facebook with me”. I’m glad we were on the phone, the face I made would have probably hurt her feelings. It’s possible she heard my eyes rolling though.

But, I did it (I felt awkward telling her no –she was trying to help). And my life changed. On Facebook, selling make up. It sounds crazy when you say it outloud. Aside from covering what I needed to, I got CONFIDENCE. Enough confidence to start working on an improved salary and look for a better position (landed a better full time gig!). New friends that have dealt with similar things, who have similar goals, and who support me along the way. My tribe is strong and I hear from them often – feeling so loved along the way!

All because I took a leap that was crazy and going to be uncomfortable and might fix my problems. So, my health gets the same treatment. If there’s a chance, I’m on board. You can’t fix anything standing still. You won’t get anywhere. Without a little fear, a lot of faith, and a giant leap from time to time you will never find your situation improving. Today, I challenge you to find just one thing that may go well or may not, but could very well improve your situation.

My biggest gluten lesson learned!

I made it 30 days without gluten! It was easier than I expected and I have to say the health benefits have been shocking. My joint pain is much less, I am less tired, and overall I just feel less big/bloated. I’m more comfortable in my skin. I lost a few pounds, nothing to write home about, but I know there are some changes I still need to make to help with that – I just personally couldn’t make them ALL at once. 

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Originally, with the elimination diet I was on the plan was to reintroduce some gluten over time to see what I could or could not happen. I am not sure just how much I’ll be doing the reintroduction portion though after this weekend!

I decided to enjoy some gluten free pizza this weekend – I’d ordered it early on in this process and had enjoyed it. When it arrived, it tasted like a “normal” crust. I thought it was because I was just used to it now but after having my son try a bite – we determined it was NOT the gluten free crust. Within 45 minutes of eating, I was doubled over in pain and felt miserable for the night! I’ll save you the most disgusting details, but suffice it to say I was not feeling well until the next day. 

I couldn’t believe how awful I felt! I have to say, I went into this thinking it was a little more of a fad and wasn’t sure it would do much good but that was definitely wrong! I think I’ll still see what I can or cannot take, but if we have many more reactions like the pizza crust I’m sticking completely gluten free from here on out! 

That leads me to my next mission. I had some great stuffed mushrooms this month and want to make some at home. Do you have a good recipe? I’d LOVE to try out a proven winner 😉

3 Easy Steps to Business Growth!

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Ready to grow your network and team? I know the idea seems both simple and overwhelming at once when you’re first starting out but here’s a newsflash for you: it doesn’t have to be!! I spent a lot of time over the years reading up and following crazy gimmicks to get my name in front of people but once I broke it down to a simple 3-2-1 formula, I saw my network grow and life got easier!

3: Make 3 new contacts per day. I know, this part was where I felt both over and underwhelmed. I am a friendly person. I love talking to people and I do it naturally every day so I thought for sure this would be a breeze. Then I realized, that while I talk to new people all the freaking time, I really was awful about getting important info from them like their names, contact info, and sharing what I do with them. This is a crazy job (and fun and totally worth it) so out of all the people I talk to over the course of the day I should be getting info from some of them to share this with! I made the conscious decision to make sure I got the good info from AT LEAST 3 people per day (if you’re on a roll, but all means keep going!). I have a handy spreadsheet at home I update to keep records in about these people and I do my best to FRIEND ALL OF THEM on Facebook since I do a lot of my work there.

2: Share your opportunity with 2 people per day. These can be brand new people or long standing friends. It doesn’t matter. But get in front of 2 people each day with the sole purpose of introducing them to your opportunity or products. Not only does this help get your business opportunity and products in front of more people, which increases your growth, but it gives you valuable practice. At some point, people will start ASKING you to give them info (I swear, it’ll happen – if it’s not just stick with it and trust me). I used to fumble my words. There were many, many “uh” and “um” awkward pauses throughout the conversation. It wasn’t natural or confident and I know that it turned off many people. I also had a tendency to give TOO MUCH information. No one wants to feel overwhelmed, so I learned to get to the point and read what people care about to answer their questions, give a good overview, and get a new team member or sale without overwhelming people.

1: Close one thing per day. This can be signing a new team member or booking a party (if that’s how your business operates) or selling one product. Every day, focus on closing one item to keep you moving forward. Some of these “wins” will be larger than others but as long as you are seeing forward progression, you are growing and should be proud of your efforts! Some of my biggest days have come without making a sale but by finding a team member who goes on to be a leader within our company. I’m changing lives, including mine, every day. That’s success.

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So there you have it. No more crazy gimmicks or stress. Your goals for your team and business can be broken down and reached in 3 simple steps! Duplicate these steps each day and you’ll be rewarded for your efforts as you watch your business grow! Share with your team to help them see success and grow with you!

NATURAL MIGRAINE RELIEF!

So the verdict is IN and I LOVE my new Icekap!! To start, I was very impressed by the materials used to make this. Its not some cheap thing that was thrown together in minutes. The fabric is durable but also flexible to be comfortable to wear. It has a good amount of elasticity in it which makes it easy to insert the ice packs and have it fit to your head perfectly. The inside material is also very soft and luxurious feeling so it doesn’t irritate the skin it comes into contact with.  

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When it first arrived, I was a little lost with where everything had to go. I was so excited I threw the ice packs in the freezer, tried on the cap, and then started reading the directions. Step one: don’t freeze the packets before putting them into the cap. Crap. I pulled them out and slid them into the holes in the cap. One large rectangle goes on the top of the cap, one large rectangle goes across the back of the neck, and a long thin ice pack that goes around your forehead. Then I laid it back into the freezer and let it get cold. They said give it a few hours. I waited about 30 minutes and just couldn’t  wait any longer so I drug it back out and plopped it on.

 

My initial thought was that it was very cold. If that was 30 minutes, I couldn’t imagine a few hours of freezing! The top and neck packs felt good but the forehead one was too much to start with. I loosened the cap and gave it a few minutes but then slowly eased it on and it felt good. After a few minutes I was used to it and was able to pull it all back down and tighten it up and everything was golden.

Let me talk a minute about the tightness. It is wonderful. I love it. Even if the ice is warm, the sensation of pressure and squeezing around my head was heavenly. Within minutes, the migraine pain was gone and I felt real relief for the first time in months. It is comfortable to wear and I can still move around the house while enjoying its effects after a long work day. It is the first thing I go for to “de-compress” following a stressful day and keeps my headaches at bay most of the evening and into the night!

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I have been suffering from chronic migraines for a while and absolutely LOVE the Icekap! Available here www.icekap.ca for only $59.99, the package arrived in about a week and was just as described! For my pain, stress, and migraines I can think of nothing better and recommend this to anyone suffering in pain!

 

 

 

**Please note, I am not affiliated with Icekap in anyway nor was I paid for this review or given anything in exchange. Just fell in love with a product I love and wanted to pass it along to you!**

Week two!

Alright! Two weeks gluten-free down!! So far, its been pretty easy but I’ve also been eating really basic and easy foods. Lots of fruits and veggies and making adjustments to recipes by skipping buns, using corn based products, and tracking down gluten-free options for my favorites. My goal for next week is going to be to actually MAKE something a little outside of my norm and a little richer in flavor. If a diet is hard – I know I’ll fail. But this hasn’t been. If a diet doesn’t taste wonderful – I know I will eventually fail. So we need to look for ways around that. I don’t want to fail.

Here’s my update in a nutshell: I feel a little less sore in my joints. But I’m definitely still experiencing pain that isn’t normal. I’ve found more energy to get me through the day so I have actually been able to start walking/running again over the last week. More walking than running but this is a journey, not a race. I’ll get there eventually. I have managed to lose about 3 pounds over the week since I was able to add the exercise in. Good news!!

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However, I am still struggling to sleep, dealing with migraines, I’m itchy from head to toe (no rashes/hives/dry skin), my hair is turning grayer by the minute and falling out rapidly. I barely have eyebrows. So we still have a way to go.

The new beta-blocker I’m on for the migraines seems to be helping with the racing heart, chest pains, and heartburn I was having. But it hasn’t quite gotten to the point of killing the headaches. The doctor said that will take easily 2-3 weeks, if not longer. I’m one week in. I ordered an icekap that should be arriving this week (check it out here: http://www.icekap.ca). I am excited and once its here – I’ll share a full review (follow me so you don’t miss it!) but here’s a sneak peak at it:

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That leaves finding a new recipe to spoil myself with as my current task. I had some amazing stuffed Portobello mushrooms at a wedding last weekend so I’m craving something along those lines. If you’ve got a great recipe I should check out, please pass it along!

Time Management

There is no denying, I have a lot on my plate. I’m a wife, mother, sister, friend, full time employee, small business owner, business coach, Sunday School teacher, baseball/piano/ballet mom, T-ball coach, knitter, reader, Grey’s Anatomy addict, and medical mystery. I’m sure I left some out but you get the drift.

I, like you, am busy. Through years of stress and occasional breakdowns I am proud to say I’ve got my life in a manageable place. I rarely feel stressed and actually DO have time to relax and do what I want. Part of this comes from having a great husband who is the best partner for this life I could imagine. Part of this comes from time management skills. So today I want to share with you what I do and hopefully help you find balance also!

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Create action items
I do this before bed but you could do it when you wake up also. Put down what you NEED to do (appointments, phone calls, cleaning, etc.) and 1-2 things you want to. Then the next day, cross off what you complete. If something doesn’t get done, leave it on the list for the next day and start there.
Life is easier to tackle in small bites.

Create a schedule
I’m not talking list out what you will do every minute of every day and lock yourself into a completely structured life. I mean, break up your obligations so no single day crushes your soul. I like to do this for cleaning and my business.
I spend maybe 30-45 minutes on the cleaning and 20 minutes on my part time business. Here’s a quick example:

Monday: fold laundry / post business tip
Tuesday: dusting / makeup tip
Wednesday: floors / client follow up
Thursday: bathrooms / lead generation
Friday: kitchen counters / product spotlight
Saturday: shopping, yard or misc. chores / personal results shared
Sunday: paper filing or recycling / team building

Obviously, our dishes get washed and meals made but this helps me get through the major cleaning that USED to take over my weekends. I am lucky enough to work close to home and do the cleaning on my lunch hours then my business can be done sitting at a practice or after the kids are in bed.

Meal plan
I know so many people who waste more of their afternoon or evenings trying to figure out and then make dinner. Make a meal plan for the week. Grocery shop from A LIST once a week. Stick to it. You’ll save time thinking and scrounging. We plan fast meals (like tacos) for busy nights to streamline things more. You will save money this way too.

Get a LIFE planner
I don’t like 1 business planner and one for my family or work things. Get one. That way you don’t schedule a meeting during a piano recital or sign up to bring preschool snack while you’re out of town at a conference. If it’s just a calendar…that’s fine. But keep your items together.
HOWEVER, I do recommend installing a family app on your phone so everyone can see things that impact all of them. We use the Cozi app. Everyone can see when we’re going to a wedding, what night baseball is, and if there are any appointments coming up. It saves us A LOT of double booking and stops the kids from trying to make plans on a day we’re busy.

Set Hours
This is mostly for my business. I stop working at 10. By that, I mean messages and emails are answered the next day. Because I’m hanging out with my husband for a bit. Then getting sleep to take care of me.
And Fridays from 6-8 are family movie night. We are all home. We are hanging out. We make it a priority. Its on the calendar!

Obviously there are surprise things that pop up and some times of the year are busier than others (Spring is chaos!) but sticking to these guidelines I have found over the years has made it all much more manageable!

Need help with a schedule or meal plan? Comment and let’s connect! I love helping others reach their potential and de-stress their lives!