I’ve been working a lot lately on personal development. I want to improve myself as both a business leader and wife/mother. I have found so many interesting people and books that it would be hard to share them all here, but I hope to bring some of my thoughts to you and share a few great resources over the next while. We’ll see how it goes 🙂
My health issues are still going strong, but we have the chronic migraines under control finally. So while Hashimoto’s and another apparently auto immune issue that has yet to be diagnosed are still wreaking havoc with my body and brain, I’m celebrating that little win.
It is no secret that the path of my life has not exactly been a straight, smooth, road. Between having a addict father, enduring my parents divorce, a first marriage filled with emotional abuse, and going through the normal issues of life (now with these added health issues) I’ve seen and experienced enough for a full-blow Lifetime mini-series!
But the one thing I have been fortunate enough to have in my pocket through all of these ups and downs is a lot of faith and a strong sense of self. Through my trials, I have come to see that while there are many things I want my children to learn and take with them when they leave my home, those two things are my greatest hopes for them.
Faith takes so many different forms which, I think, makes it my favorite. Obviously for many faith refers to a higher being or God having a strong presence over your life. My love and faith in God keeps me grounded in the fact that God has a plan and he loves me. While I may not understand it, I may not like it, or I may not agree with it – it is a plan and he will NOT let anything happen to me that I cannot handle or get through. I have said to myself many times “If God led me to it, He will get me through it.” I believe those words with every fiber of my being. I am grateful to everyone who has led me to see God’s love, words, and people around me that helped form this faith I needed so badly.
Faith is also a faith in one’s self. I know that God and religion are not for everyone. No judgement here. But, having faith in yourself is a gift that no one can give you or take from you. Too many people quiet their inner voices and their desires. If you stop in a moment of challenge, take a deep breath, and listen to your heart and feelings you will often find exactly what you need to carry on and pull yourself through. You know what is best for you, even if its not easy or what you completely want. Give yourself a chance and you will amaze yourself.
A strong sense of self is crucial. No matter who you are around, where you are, what they are doing, or what they want you to do – if you have taken the time to get to know yourself, you will never be lost. You can overcome anything. I realized this most when I went through my divorce. I had buried so much of me to try to appease someone else that I couldn’t even remember what I liked to do, let alone go find people to do it with. I start diving into anything that struck my interest. Different sports, books, movies, hobbies, and paying attention to the moments when I actually felt a happy, calm, peace come over me in that turbulent time. So when the world tried to drag me down, I had a defense and a way to pull myself out of any emotions the world tried to throw to me.
However, I know that when I was younger – unbeknownst to me at the time – I did the same thing. I devoured books, music, movies, sports, church activities, and writing. If I found myself surrounded by people trying to pull me down, I retreated to my things and what made me feel better. I did not fall prey to peer pressure or other pitfalls because I knew who I was, what I liked, and didn’t need to fit in with them. I knew where I was going (I collected, read, and memorized college catalogs and books) and that I deserved that. I had my plan and was not going to be swayed from my direction.
Without faith in yourself and knowing yourself, it is hard to commit to yourself. No change can come without that commitment. Life is hard, things happen – but they do not define you. They are not who you are. Your definition is how you respond. What you do to move past them. You owe it to yourself to stay on the path and keep going; you will receive the ultimate goal of all your dreams if you do.
Love yourself today. Pamper yourself a smidge.